So like guys I'm going to Canada.
I hear it's mad cold there all the time, though, right? And I'll probably be seeing all kinds of beavers and mooses and men with weird hats. And it's customary to say "eh" before and after every sentence, or so I am told. I also fear that I will run into French-speakers, and then I don't know how many innocents I will mercilessly slaughter before I am stopped. All in all, though, I will probably just laugh when someone says "aboot" and then get beaten up by a Canadian.
I have also been informed of French Mountain Dew existing in the Canadular regions. Bringing such a thing back to my homelands is going to be my mission. Anyone in Toronto should beware me and my Dew appetence; I suggest constructing a shelter apparatus of some sort to shield yourself.
So, yeah, I guess I'll be back, like, Tuesday or something. Not like it'd interrupt my current staggering submission flow or anything. I'll still miss my birthday, tear.
Does Canada still run on a barter system of hockeysticks and maple syrup? I don't remember.