OH THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

I...have long hair. It's bushy and scraggly and I've broken brushes off into it on several occasions. I used to have a cat who would make a nest and sleep in my hair. I think I've lost about ten dollars in change and crumbs in my hair.
Okay, enough of that touching story. It's winter time, as you can tell, (or, if it's summer time for you, then just dip your feet in some liquid nitrogen and pretend) and every winter morning we're all accustomed to donning layers upon layers of thick clothing to protect us from the harsh, harsh winds and snows (or, if you don't have to go to school/work every day, then just dip your face in some liquid nitrogen because I hate you). So anyway, as I'm wearing my jacket and gloves and hat and scarf and rocket-propelled boots, every once and a while my hair gets caught up in my face, which is very annoying. I swipe it aside, as I oft do, but the contact between my glove and hair has done some crazy voodoo magic to the air around me and STATIC ARGGH THE STATIC IT'S STUCK TO MY FACE. So now the hair is actually clinging to my face like some rabid, hairy animal, and every time I try to get rid of it, more comes. A hairy butterfly effect, if you will. It's like some horror movie except it's really short and not very scary.

Um...yes. A small glimpse at one of the many misfortunes I'm forced to coexist with. Go on, laugh at my misfortune. I DARE YOU.